Monday, October 29

My Name is Heather, I Have a Disease

When I was around 8, I somehow caught a bug that has only spread with time.
It's a deceiving little bug, because for 26 years, I diagnosed it as mere "desire."
As of late, God's loudly diagnosed it as DISEASE.
A disease that causes an Ache to be noticed; a Pain to be acknowledged; a Yearning to be needed.
What a yucky disease to be afflicted by, not to mention downright embarrassing to share. What causes it? I honestly don't know, so I really can't tell you. But what I want more than anything, what I am praying for harder than anything...
is for God to drill way down,
remove this disease,
and heal any scars its left behind.
-----------------------------------------------------
In his final hours, Jesus washed feet, didn't He...
Now, I have another reason...
when we are washing feet, we are looking DOWN;
when we are looking down, we can't look around to see who's noticing.
Jesus only wanted to be noticed by the Father, with that,
He received the best acknowledgement ever....to be eternally seated next to Him.

"God, please help me. I really want to get this right...to be so filled with you that there's no empty space I try to fill with the applause of others. God, if I'm never acknowledged again on Earth, it's all good, 'cause I've already been acknowledged by You, that's all I need!"

8 Comments Here:

Jennifer said...

The Disease - the great deceiver. I pray you stay strong and remain victorious.

janette said...

You are so instrumental in my life. I read your blog...rarely comment...yet apply many aspects of it to my life, my surroundings & my behavior. Diseases can be emotional as well. We all have diseases! It is up to us to conquer & cure our own disease & we can only do that with God by our side

.notdaniel said...

Heather...

Just letting you know that I will keep you and your disease, along with all others in the world who suffer from this illness, in my heart and in my prayers. You have a way with words, and however embarassing it is/was for you to post this, just know that you have put down and published what many are going through and have brought the situation at hand to light. God is with you and will guide you through your troubles...

You're awesome!!! and so is your blog.
Keep it up!

Love, me.

Anonymous said...

Heather,

I will continue to pray that the Lord heals you from this disease. I know God will do a great miracle for you! He can move mountains! I'm completely convinced that he can heal YOU!!! Don't get discouraged. i know the Lord is working on you still. love ya chica! Have a wonderful day!

-Oana <><

Rigan said...

Heath-
You are such a light for the Lord...no matter what you do be it speaking at church or just hugging DJ & Andy...you can just be still & shine for Jesus...We love you so much and thank God for such a beautiful sister in our lives.I thank God you are my sis & I love you!!!You are Jesus masterpiece!!!Love-Rig

Danisa said...

Heather, I pray for that healing BUT, if God didn't heal you, know that He delights in using you just the same. You are still a handcrafted child of His.

Holly said...

When reading your blog entry, I was reminded of the Chapter in Philippians that I read last week. Chapter 2, the words that jumped out at me the most were, "Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges...
Because you are being honest with who you are, Christ is getting the glory and molding you into who He wants you to be! Praying for u!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing.. I suffer from that same disease and it may have started around the same time and I pray daily for God to remove it but He does not He gave it to me for good but I don't always use it for that. So He won't remove it I just have to learn to control it. There is no cure for this disease we just have to take our Biblical medicine to say well.
God Bless you.